Jewlicious Feminista

I apologize for not posting often at all - since the beginning the semester, my posting has gone from one every other day to one every two weeks! I apologize for the inconsistency.

As many of you know, the Jewish holiday Rosh Hashanah was concluded last night at sundown. I attended services Wednesday night and Thursday morning to observe the start of the new Jewish year and also reflect on the past year and prepare for the Day of Judgment, where as Jews we stand before God and evaluate our behavior the past year and think about ways to change it and right any wrongs that may have occurred.

Because of my personal reflections during Rosh Hashanah, I saved myself from making a very big mistake. Two weeks ago my ex and I agreed that we wanted to see each other. So he purchased a ticket for me to fly from California to New York for an agreed upon weekend of sex and just hanging out - no strings attached. I loved the idea because I was ready to finally have sex again and with somene I know and trusted. (The last person I had sex with was this same ex.) I figured it would have been a weekend of tons of fun and just having a good time because I don't love my ex anymore and don't have any strong feelings for him at all - except the occasional feeling of contempt when he is being arrogant or just a pain in the ass. All in all, we have an ok friendship.

About two days before I was supposed to leave, probably starting on the Eve of Rosh Hashanah, a nagging feeling began to appear in my head. "You shouldn't go...this is a bad idea" would faintly occur in my mind throughout the day. After I got home from shul on Wednesday night, I logged into MyJewishLearning.com and looked up what Rosh Hashanah really meant. It was there I learned that they were the Days of Judgment before God and a time to reflect on how we can change our behavior from the previous year to make ourselves better people. After reading that, an alarm went off in my head about my fastly approaching trip. Oh my goodness - how was I going to sit in temple for two days and show myself before God to be judged and then jump on a plane to see an ex that caused me such heartache and strife this past year?!

Please keep in mind that this has nothing to do with sex - I would still to love have sex with my ex because he is a very good lover. That is about it. As a Feminist, I do not have a problem having casual, safe sex whenever the feeling arises. So not being about sex - I decided not to go see him because I didn't want to put myself at risk for re-opening old wounds and taking a step backwards in my healing process. I wasn't willing to risk all of the sacrifice and progress I had made for myself this past year for three days of very good, but meaningless sex. And who can be sure that the old feelings wouldn't resurface again? So better safe that sorry, I apologized to my ex for the cancellation and sent him a check for the full cost of the airline ticket.

This decision was not an easy one to make but I knew it was the right one to make. I feel very good about taking this path and just remaining strictly friends with my ex, whose friendship I actually do enjoy. I thank God for answering my prayers and meditations about what decision to make.

And to all of my Jewish readers out there, a belated L'Shana Tovah to you!

So, I completed my second day of class in my super awesome Women in Contemporary Societies course and I am so excited about this semester! I know, I know - I said that already. BUT I am even more excited about one major componenet of this course that requires my class to do an activist project about the "Missing Women of Juarez." When I read my syllabus, I had no idea what my professor was talking about.

Missing? Who is missing? Were some white women kidnapped while getting lost on vacation in Mexico? Harsh, but isn't it true that our media tends to cover the missing stories of white girls and women anywhere in the world? Natalee Holloway being a major story for over two years and the general public never having heard of the missing women of Juarez, Mexico. White women = insane media coverage for years on end. Women of color = maybe a newspaper article?

The missing women of Juarez and Chihuahua, Mexico, now total over 400 hundred women who have been brutally slaughtered and/or sexually assaulted when either coming to or from work in the maquilladoras (factories in Mexico where American and European goods are made with cheap labor) across the border from Texas. Nothing has been done to solve these atrocities and there is a movement, although not well heard of, to keep the city safe and find out who is committing this femicide.

I was shocked when my professor told us about this. Not shocked because it happened, although horrible the crime, it doesn't surprise me that something happened like this in the world we live in today. I was most shocked, or possibly just pissed off, at the fact that I had never heard anything about it. I never saw anything on the national news, forget my local news. Like I mentioned before, I guess since these women aren't lost, white tourists, they don't deserve coverage in the mainstream media. This just pisses me off!

Needless to say, I am soooo looking forward to doing my activist project this semester on the Missing Women of Juarez and informing my campus and community about the femicide occuring in Mexico in the factories that our cheap clothing garments are made. As the semester continues, I will update you on my progress with my activist project, which according to my professor, makes us all true feminists.

I did not fall of the face of the earth - I apologize for being absent from the blog world lately. I got laid off on Friday (sooner than I thought, being that I was only working a summer job anyway) and I just jetted to San Francisco this past weekend with my brother. We had a great time and it reminded me of how much I really miss living in that city. I must've left my heart in SF when I left in 2005...Anyway, I got home Sunday night and have going non-stop since. Classes started today so I was on campus all day, plus working at the synagogue during my breaks. Whew! I am tired.

My classes are going to be good this semester, I think. My 8:00am class is a women's studies course with an absolutely amazing professor - I think I have a crush! She's fantastic! But having that class first thing in the morning is the best way to start out the day I think. Ugh - except one thing happened in the class today - we all had to introduce the person sitting next to us and this one girl introduced this girl as "not having read any books this summer but she totally caught up on her US Weeklys and Cosmo, which is like, the Bible for women." I rolled my eyes so hard they almost got stuck in my head and I think my professor saw and smirked. It is going to be an interesting semester, that is for sure.

Thanks for being loyal and I promise to keep up my regular attendance! :-)

When you hear the words "human trafficking," what comes to mind? Do you picture the girls and women in Eastern Europe, who are preyed upon and promised jobs as "cleaners" or other domestic helpers only to be sold into sex slavery? Well, I did. I have often thought of the women, or mostly teenage girls, of Asia who are forced into slavery due to "a combination of poverty, globalization, organized crime, and discrimination against women."

But by looking at American media, it is easy to assume that human trafficking is not very prevelent in the United States and is not a case for national concern. Occasionally, a story makes its way into the newspaper or on the local news station about another ship being detained full of illegal immigrants brought to America with promises of "honest work," only to be sold into a brothel or sweat shop upon arrival.

But an article in Ms. Magazine titled "The Invisible Ones" talks about human trafficking into the United States on a broader level. When Americans think of slavery, we think of the dark days on the Southern plantations with the enslaved African Americans working away in the cotton or tobacco fields. But slavery still exists in the United States and now more than ever with the rise of production costs and the demand for even cheaper labor, all so we can have cheaper made t-shirts, shoes, bras, panties, purses, hats and other products that we don't even give a second thought about. Think about it the next time you go to pick up a t-shirt or pair of socks - who do you think made those?

If only there was a way to guarantee that the products we buy are "sweatshop free." That would require more government funding and better government supervision of labor standards and practices in this country and abroad. American consumerism is driven by more products for a cheaper price in a faster way. We don't even think for a second about whose sweat might have gone into making those shoes. Do you think about how much that person was paid? How were they treated? Are they able to support their families on the wages that they earn from making those shoes? I am willing to bet that it would be very difficult for us to find clothing that wasn't made in sweatshops at the hands of slaves.

Here is an excerpt from the article in which it talks about a Mexican national, Florencia Molina:

"For part of the year in 2003, Molina, a 30-year-old Mexican national, was held against her will and forced to work in a factory in southern California, making dresses from 5:30 in the morning until 11 at night, seven days a week. She was not allowed to take a shower or leave the factory, at night sharing a small bed with another woman. If she didn't sew fast enough, her boss would pull her hair, pinch and slap her. Though she often worked 17 hours a day, her time card only gave credit for three. For part of the year in 2003, Molina, a 30-year-old Mexican national, was held against her will and forced to work in a factory in southern California, making dresses from 5:30 in the morning until 11 at night, seven days a week. She was not allowed to take a shower or leave the factory, at night sharing a small bed with another woman. If she didn't sew fast enough, her boss would pull her hair, pinch and slap her. Though she often worked 17 hours a day, her time card only gave credit for three."

Every year, thousands of women and children are sold into slavery in the United States, with false promises of working an honest job and making a living for themselves. These women and children work in factories, hotels, restaurants, brothels, and "massage parlors." But we don't hear about it enough! What can be done to help these women and children escape and overcome their lives of enslavement? One of the most important things anyone can do, according to Ms. Magazine, is to be a whistle-blower. If something doesn't look right with your neighbor or there are a lot of male visitors at all hours of day, pick up the phone and call the police anonymously. You may be able to save that poor younh women being held against her will in that "massage parlor." Pay attention to your surroundings and get to know what goes on in your neighborhood.

What can we do to help? How do we bring to light the truly heinous action of human trafficking and the reasons behind it?

There are several non-profit agencies in the United States that are trying to tackle the human trafficking tragedy but they could always use more support, whether financially or through volunteers. Please check out the following websites for more information:

Free the Slaves

Coalition to Abolish Slavery & Trafficking (CAST)

Break the Chain Campaign

Equality Now

The Polaris Project

NYC Chapter of NOW

Sweatshop Watch

Safe Horizons

The Freedom Network

I was going to write about the latest edition of Cosmo magazine, not only to dissect and criticize every last piece of misogynistic garbage that is hidden between its glossy covers, but more specifically to attack Laura Sessions Stepp for her latest "women are victims" article, entitled "A New Kind of Date Rape," that managed to make it in the September issue. I am actually not surprised, considering her track record. Anyway, I read the article and was repulsed by what she called the act of "gray rape" - when a woman isn't sure if she has been raped after having been "too forward" with a man, while drunk, thus "inviting him to take advantage of her." Gray rape my ass! A rape is a rape is a rape, no matter what way you twist your wording, Laura!

I figured since I was getting ready to tear her a new asshole, like many of the other feminist blogs out there, I should pick up her book and start reading what she had to say in her latest piece of garbage Unhooked: How Young Women Pursue Sex, Delay Love, and Lose at Both. Also, thanks to Marc for suggesting I read the pseudo-feminist trash of a book! Yes, I know I am being judgmental and I haven't even read the book yet, but any book, written by a female nonetheless, that suggests that women don't even really like sex and that women are simply vulnerable, delicate victims, who can be taken advantage at any time if she decides to wear a low cut top for the night, has to be asking for some ass-chewing.

Anyway, more on Laura and her bullshit at a later time... 

While out running errands, I popped into my local bookstore and searched the women's studies section for Stepp's book. I had called Barnes and Noble on Friday but they said they didn't stock it. I almost ordered it from Amazon, but didn't want to wait for it to arrive. Anyway, there it was on the shelf, so I purchased it. I guess I had been expecting the usual price decrease that comes with bookstores like Barnes and Noble and Borders because I was quite shocked when the cashier said "Your total is $26.76." I thought to myself "For this?!" But I bit my tongue, thanked the nice woman, and walked out with my book, a bookmark courtesy of the bookstore, both in an unmarked white plastic bag.

It got me thinking about the local bookstore and why they have such a hard time competing with the giant discount book retailers (which is what I decided to blog about after all). I have to admit, I am a card carrying member of Barnes and Noble and Borders Rewards, which includes discounts and rebates on books throughout the year. I do love my discounts. 

But how can the independent bookstore compete with such "bargain base discounts" and still turn a profit? Well, we love our independent bookstores in California, that is for sure. But what about the rest of the country? Do you all shop at independent bookstores, or are you among the many virgin lovers of literature that so often cram into stores like Barnes and Noble, Borders, Walden Books, Powells, or B. Dalton's? It reminds me so much of Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks' movie "You've Got Mail." If you haven't seen it, you must!!

Anyway...the point is that now I feel kind of guilty for being a true lover of books and shopping at the giant chainstores of the book world. Perhaps I should start shopping at the local stores? But the books are so much more expensive. But isn't it a good thing to keep the money local? Too many questions and factors to consider. Does it make me a more "sincere" book lover to shop at the independent bookstore? 

What do you all think?  

P.S. More to come on Laura Sessions Stepp after I finish her book. 

I have come to the sad realization that my mother may have been "victim" to the Post-Feminist movement of the early 1980's, which was a backlash in response to Second Wave feminism. Post Feminists believe that Feminism was no longer relevent in "modern times." So either my mother was a victim of this movement or she is simply more conservative than I thought she was.

Why am I ranting about my mother, other than the fact that it is one of the neuroses of being a Jewish woman? Well, within the last week my mother and I have had two different discussions on women's issues and we don't see eye to eye on either one of them. The first was mentioned in my last post about shadowing a young woman through an abortion. "Why on earth would you want to witness such a thing?" she exclaimed. I simple told her that I was interested in knowing what it was like, especially since I will be volunteering at the clinic. She agreed that was a good reason and we left the discussion at that, although still mumbling about how horrible abortions are. I will have you know that I tried to talk to her about it previously and she was all upset and said she was "not going to have that kind of conversation with her daughter." I asked her one time if she had ever had an abortion (my dad told me she did a long time ago) and she was livid with me for even asking. I dropped the topic after that.

Our most recent conversation was on the topic of access to the morning after pill (Emergency Contraception) after having watched a segment on the CBS Evening News this past Sunday. The segment stated that access to EC is still very hard for some women, even though it can now be purchased over the counter (from places that don't let their personal morals interfere with the duty of their job.) The news piece addressed the issue of the lack of access to EC by people under 18 and my mother pipes up and says "Girls under 18 shouldn't be given it anyway." My head shot around and I said "WHAT?!" She continued to say "People under the age of 16 shouldn't be having sex anyway." I was on my soapbox after that saying "It doesn't mean they aren't! How could you think that way? No wonder babies are having babies!" She got all defensive and emotional which in turn caused my brother to retreat from the living room and go hide outside with my dad, which is a common occurence when my mother and I are having a discussion.

I was taken back by my mother's response to having access to EC for younger people because my mother works in social services, where she sees babies with babies all of the time trying to get on welfare and food stamps. I would've thought she was for lowering the amount of teen pregnancies, not making it harder for sexually active young teens to be responsible about their choices.

According to the California Department of Public Health, there were nearly 52,000 births to women and girls under the age of 19 in the state in 2005. 756 of those births in 2005 were to girls under the age of 15. If EC was available to these girls, I am willing to bet that this number would be significantly lower. The issue of teen pregnancy prevention is a whole other topic for another day though.

Back to my mother...she is not a Feminist (sadly). If she were a little older, she would've came of age during the Second Wave of Feminism and I am willing to bet that her outlook on many things would be completely different. I would've liked to have a Feminist mother - I probably would have been brought up entirely different and her and I would have a lot more in common. But she came of age during the Reagan reign and became a mommy at 19. There wasn't any time or outlets for her to become involved in Feminism. I like to picture that if my mother was a feminist, she would've strapped me on her back and took me to protests and marches in Sacramento and San Francisco. But it didn't happen that way. So now I believe it is my time to educate my mother on what it means to be a Feminist.

This past Saturday I had a very eye-opening experience. I have just started volunteering at the local Feminist Health Center and this Saturday was my first time participating. As a volunteer, my duty was to greet women in the parking lot who were coming in for abortions that morning and to walk with them to the door, in order to keep some distance between the women and the obnoxious Pro-Life protesters on the sidewalk. I felt really good about contributing towards the Pro-Choice way of life but I really enjoyed being there for the women as they walked into the clinic, some distraught, some nervous, and others just plain ready to get it all over with.

I was outside of the clinic, walkie-talkie in hand and in the company of a private security guard, for less than 2 hours. During that time, I engaged in some heated conversation with one of the Pro-Lifers, who told me I was going to hell for participating in the "murder of innocent children." After being told I was going to Hell, I simply said "I'm Jewish and we don't go to hell" and smiled at her. She didn't have anything to say about that.

But the most interesting and eye-opening experience of my life (thus far) had yet to come. Once I returned to the interior of the office, I was given the opportunity to shadow one of the patients through the entire abortion process. I was a little nervous but more curious than anything. I shadowed a 17 year old girl, whom we will call "Anne." I was with her and her boyfriend's mom from start to finish of the whole procedure. I sat with her while they did her sonogram. Anne adamantly said she didn't want to see the image of the fetus or hear anything about it. She didn't want to know how many weeks along she was, or anything else having to do with the fetus. The clinic staff happily obliged to make Anne more comfortable.

After the sonogram, it was onto the blood test and medication issuance of the procedure. They pricked her finger and checked her RH factor. She was RH positive so there was no need for an additional shot. They asked her which medicine she wished to use during the procedure to help with the pain. She chose vicoden and it was back to the waiting area. We waited and waited some more.

During that time, we visited with a couple of women and their friends who had come for moral support. We bad mouthed the Pro-Lifers outside with their stupid signs and hypocritical Christian nonsense. We all agreed that choosing to have an abortion is one of the hardest decisions a woman may have in her lifetime. Why would these so-called "Christians" want to make it any harder for them? I told them I didn't believe God was a vindictive, punishing God.

They finally called Anne's name and the three of us headed into the room where the procedure was to take place. There was an advocate who would stay in the room the entire time, holding Anne's hand and telling her to keep breathing. The doctor came in with her assistant and began the process. I stood in the corner and watched the entire thing from the doctor's view. I was mostly shocked at how past the procedure was done. The doctor did everything in 2 minutes flat and was out of the room. I just stood there in awe of what just happened and quickly came out of my fog and asked Anne how she was doing. She was in pain, but no more pain than having really bad menstrual cramps. I am not going to get into explicit detail about the procedure, although I will say there was some blood and the machine used to clean out the uterus was loud.

Anne laid on the table for awhile, saying she really needed something to help with the pain and her advocate told her there would be comfortable recliners and heating pads in the recovery room. She got dressed, groaning in disgust of the "mess she made." It wasn't really a mess at all - I am sure she was just embarassed because there were other people in the room.

In the recovery room, she sat with her feet up in the recliner, in the company of another woman who had just went through her procedure. At this time, a nurse told them what to expect afterwards and told them to rest for a couple of days. They were given pain medication and asked if they were interested in any forms of birth control and gave them each a bag full of condoms.

Anne then left, with her "goodie" bag in hand. I thanked the staff at the clinic for letting me part of such a personal experience. I told them I would be back next weekend to volunteer as an escort again. Only this time I will be sure to wear a Pro-Choice t-shirt as not to be confused with one of the protesters. I almost got beat a couple of times by women thinking that I was a protester coming to "save" them.

People have asked me, mostly my mother though, why I would want to witness an abortion. I simply told her that I want to volunteer at this clinic and what better way to understand what the women are going through than to go through the whole process with them? I have never had an abortion but now I feel like I know what they are going through and a little understanding can go a long way.

Last week I mentioned that I was going to read two different books on being child-free by choice. Well, I finished them and I am very pleaseed with having purchased and read these books.

The first book I read was Baby Not on Board: A Celebration of Life Without Kids by Jennifer L. Shawne. This book was short, exactly 143 pages, but it was a delightful read. It took a very humorous tone and had little quizzes inside that you could take to find out if the child-free lifestyle was the way to go for you. The book is full of very funny illustrations and antics about the child-free lifestyle compared to the breeders lifestyle. The book is full of incentives about why it is great to remain child-free. It also gives tips on how to snag a child-free significant other. Shawn recommends throwing yourself an "Un-Baby Shower" and is complete with ways on how to carry out this party for your personal choice. At the end of the book, the author has included a long list of resources for the child-free crowd. I highly recommend this book to anyone looking for a little humor about their lifestyle choice or for those who are teetering on the choice of to breed or not to breed.

The second book I read was Child-Free and Loving It! by Nicki Defago. Defago's book was significantly longer than Shawne's, approximately 248 pages, and had a different tone throughout its pages. I enjoyed this book as well. The author is from Great Britain and her narratives spoke mostly about the child-free lifestyle in Great Britain. However, she does reference some data and personal responses about child-free people in the US and throughout the world. This was a very informative book and includes 12 chapters on topics like "Freedom of Choice," "Parent Propaganda," "Environment and Population," and "What You Won't Be Missing Out On," among other things. The book is peppered with personal anecdotes from child-free people and parents reflecting on their choices. I was actually surprised and pleased with some of the anecdotes expressing angst about their choice to have children and many of the anonymous people wishing they hadn't had children. This book is full of truth from both sides of the spectrum but also holds a lot of valuable information and data. At the end of the book, Defago lists a variety of resources including other books, websites, and organizations dedicated to the child-free lifestyle. I would recommend this book to anyone who is firm in their choice to remain child-free and wants more information about why so many people have also decided on this lifestyle.

The next book review I will do will be (more than likely) on Sixty Million Frenchmen Can't Be Wrong by Jean-Benoit Nadeau and Julie Barlow. I am beginning to have a personal obsession with the French (I know - how unAmerican of me.) I love French films and I think the French language and culture are just exquisite. This book is written by two ethnologists from Canada who lived in France for three years and studied the French and their way of life.

"The French smoke, drink and eat more fat than anyone in the world, yet live longers and have fewer heart problems than Americans. They also work 35-hour weeks and take seven weeks of paid holidays per year, but are still the world's fourth-biggest economic power. So what makes the French so different?"

I am excited to read this intimate portrait of French life and find out why the French are the way they are.

I don't know about you, but the day I turned 18, I registered to vote. I was so excited to finally be able to participate in the election process and have my voice "heard" in politics. I have not missed one election since I was 18. I have voted on everything from local issues (should the local school district receive more funding), to Gubernatorial races (I didn't vote for Arnold), and to Presidential elections. As an American citizen, it is my right and my duty to partake in politics and make my voice heard through the election process. As an American woman, this has a lot more meaning because women fought long and hard for the right to vote.

August 26th will mark the 87th year of suffrage for women, with the passing of the 19th Amendment of the Constitution. It has only been 87 years since women have had the right to vote in their own country. This would not have been possible if it were not for women like Elizabeth Cady Stanton and Susan B. Anthony and many other suffragettes. I am very thankful to these women who came before me and made it possible for me to vote. I even had the opportunity to tour Susan B. Anthony's home in Rochester, NY, where I used to live. What an amazing experience that was!

Although women have had the right to vote for 87 years, there are still millions of American women who do not actively participate in voting and elections. It is true, however, that the numbers of women voters are higher than men voters since the 1980's. Also, more than 2 million American women turned out to vote in the 2006 election cycle. But it still isn't enough. 8 million women who were registered to vote did not vote in the last Presidential election and another 36 million potential women voters were not registered at all.

Why is this? It has been said that there are obstacles for women to be able to get to the voting booth, such as child-care. I don't find that to be a valid reason for not voting. Why can't polling places set up a short term daycare area while mothers vote? Or why can't these women just use absentee ballots? I believe this to be an excuse, not a valid reason for not voting. Other women complain about not knowing the issues. Well, I'd rather have you not vote if you don't know the issues but WHY DON'T YOU LEARN ABOUT THE ISSUES? Do some reasearch. Educated voters are key to making the right election outcomes.

Women are over half of the American population and unmarried women make up a very large demographic within the whole voting bloc so we have the power to turn the election anyway we wanted, as long as we participate. If you don't participate, then you can't complain about how shitty and unfair America really is. When you vote, you earn your right to complain.

I understand that elections and politics can be a very daunting area that some aren't sure how to venture into. But there are resources out there for women like you. Don't be intimidated by politics - embrace your right to vote. Women before you fought so hard for that right and now it is our time to embrace that right.

Via Women's ENews.

Additional Resources for Women and Politics/Elections:

Feminist Majority Foundation: Get Out Her Vote

White House Project

Women's Voices Women Vote

League of Women Voters

National Women's Political Caucus

Center for American Women and Politics

UPDATE AUG. 8th:

Cara on Feministing wrote wonderfully about this topic today. Check it out here.